sleep

man,
i am sleep deprivin like a mofo

last night, watched blade trinity
it was pretty good
not as bad as everyone made it seem

and then got ready for sleepin
decided to read my book...The Rule of Four
was on pg 191... and normally i just read 10 or so pages
and then go sleep.

this time, went from pg 191 and read to pg 368 and finished the book.
and then finally went to sleep
and then woke up two hours later

ugh
i need sleep.

placeholder

in lieu of a long assed post in here speaking my mind...

here's a placeholder.

no, not bitter.
just have a shitload of stuff in my head.
keeps me up at night.
warm company

had a decent day today
can't compare to yesterday
but if it's what i'm hopin
tomorrow will be better

i have many dark secrets
and i don't do confession
not too well
sharing my sins with another

you can't corrupt what's already corrupted
when there's balance of good and evil inside
and sometimes it tips one way, sometimes the other
you just have to stop and think

like what clive barker once said

"a monster lies in wait in me
a stew of wounds and misery
but fiercer still in life and limb
the me that lies in wait in him"

i am scared if i ever lose all inhibitions

Prelim of Vroom Vroom

Today, we got a visit from Paul Sr, Paulie, and Mikey from Orange County Choppers (OCC).

We managed to get in, and get a few pictures. Not too shabby considering where we were standing. They didn't stay as long, just enough to answer a few questions.

pretty much, if you had boobs, you could go on the stage and get closer.
Otherwise, please stay in your seats or behind the lines. It's pretty cool though.

I'll post pictures later this week, including stuff from the airshow. :)

Fingers Crossed

I was on one of the ad places tonight, and figured, I wonder if anyone new was there.
Well, sure enough, there was a new one that caught my attention.

She's pretty cute, and the way she described herself in the profile was pretty cool.
Don't know how, but she put in a blatant clue as to how to email her, so I figured, eh, nothin to lose, lemme try. So I emailed her, and now I have my fingers crossed to see if she'll reply.

I tried replying to this other young lady but it wouldn't let me cuz I have to be a paying member. I actually did consider paying, but not sure if they took other forms of payment other than what they had listed on their website. Hmmm.

So yeah, that's the weekend...i'm going to sleep.

60 yrs

August 6, 1945.
Almost 60 yrs ago, Dutch Van Kirk helped Paul Tibbets navigate a plane that unleashed hell in a handbasket. I'd gotten General Paul Tibbets before, but this weekend, I got Dutch to autograph my model of the Enola Gay.

After signing my plane, he also gave me a free patch, which was pretty cool.
I'll prolly put pictures up later.

General Tex Hill was also there, and it's as if he hasn't aged much.

Also saw my first B2 Bomber in person, other than on CNN, fly overhead while at the airshow.

Subway Fresh 500 - '05

Jr's gettin' her done.
Last week, 9th at the Texas Motor Speedway
This week, 4th in Pheonix

Waltrip's not doin' too bad lately either.

Next week is 'Dega.
Could happen... ya never know.

f'in bored

ya know, i must be f/u\c/k\ ing bored.

but i got a frickin story to tell.
no, not about three brothers you know so well.

gonna tell you about tonight.
well, up til a few hours ago
yeah
a few hours of life.

way the hell long ago, like... shit, has it been that long?
1986-1987... i was in the 5th grade.

i had a crush. no. i'm lying. i had several crushes then.
but no, not at the same time. just throughout the year.
can you imagine if these people googled their names, and they
get pointed here? ah... fuck it.

yeah. 19 yrs ago... holy SHIT, 19 yrs ago?!?!?! well... really, 18, but still.

i had a crush on Jackie... on Chrissy... and Diana.
well, the three main crushes.

Jackie didn't know i was alive...and liked all the other guys.
Chrissy liked this guy Jonathan.
and Diana... no idea, but she was cute.

hrm. i should dedifuckincate a post to all the girls i've had a crush on...before...
well,... up until a certain year. incriminating shit, yo.

anyways... tonight was my cousin's graduation. i'm so proud of her.
well, she invited several folks tonight, and one of them was Diana, and another was Angela.
While I don't remember Angela as much, and I have to look at an old picture to refresh my memory...

"Bum, these are my old best friends... "
"Wait, don't tell me... Diana...?"
"Yeah!"

i slightly forgot the last name. well, i was close. just missed a letter or two.
Anyways, she remembered me as well, and Angela didn't remember me, but then again, i didn't remember her either. Not really, but I'm trying to remember.

Anyways... Diana's married and has three kids and teaching.

Darling El, she tried to matchmake me with Angela's younger sister.
not that much younger since she's now 25. and no, she wasn't there, but El would describe her, and Angela would nod. Yeah, the two were plotting, but i don't think the Mom was cool with that. eh. it's all good.

but it was funny in its own sort of way...i guess.
and cool. my dear Cuz is lookin out for me.

fun night. yes indeedy.
small world, and my Cuz kicked ass for graduating.
Then again, we joked that it took her ass long enough, but now, awesome.

bud light

i like bud light
bud light
bud light
bud light

i like bud light

an ode to bud light
oh bud light
how do i love thee
let me count the ways
fuck it
let me count the bottles
one
two
three four five
six

i love thee six times
and then you leave me


bitch

but then...
i go to walmart

and i love you again
bud light

Faith

Am I religious?
No. Not as much as I want to be or should be, I guess.
If I were to die tomorrow... better yet, if i fully believed in telling a priest what I have done in the past will grant me salvation, versus me just talking to God directly and asking for forgiveness... man, we'd have to block off some hours.

Like I said, there's that thing they call the Ten Commandments, and I only need one more to collect all ten, and I haven't killed anyone yet.

I guess i'm either getting desperate or bored or both or neither, but i set up an ad on catholicsingles.com.
and now, i don't think i'm even good enough for those i consider i share the same faith with cuz of the shit i've pulled.

and still i pray. sometimes, in the back of my mind, God has a sense of humor. I should've become a priest.
but Lord knows if a cute woman was in the congregation during a homily, i'd lose my train of thought. sad and bad, i know. but true.

i believe in what my religion has to offer as far as yeah, i believe in the saints, promise of a heaven, though sometimes, i wonder if it's not so much a place, but a state of being, even if a state of mind...i believe in that.
i still go every weekend. sometimes, the priest's homily is so dead-on, i wonder if they knew what was on my mind and were talking directly to me. what are the odds?

faith. i hold on to it. it's wrong, i think, to question it at times, but then again... i also think, if i question or test my own faith, and believe in it more, it's just strengthening it. i don't know.

sometimes my prayers get answered. sometimes they don't. but when they don't, i just rationalize that it's not meant to be, or there's got to be some reason for it.

if i lost all faith, i'd have also lost all hope.
and so i'll always have faith.

quiet times

i haven't really been posting cuz i'v had a good number in my head, and at the same time,
as much as i speak my mind here, i still want to keep some stuff inside, unless i just have that 'fuck it' state of mind.

it's only been in recent years where i say, hey, this is my world. have a look. before then, fuck it. poker faced.
didn't have a care good times or bad. they were just times.

lately, it's been quiet times cuz i've been doing a lot of thinking, and thinking is good.
i don't know what i think about. i just sit back and examine stuff, dissecting.
it's wasting time, but still, i go through it. don't know if others go through the same thing.

sometimes, i think, yeah, i'm different. and then i get proven wrong cuz as unique as i think i am, there's a good number on the same boat.

quiet times. it usually is done in the nice privacy of the drive home. sometimes, and it's sad, even my best friend or those i can trust enough, i don't want them inside my head. besides... if they were right in front of me, they'd know what i was thinking anyways.

but i like these nice quiet moments. it reminds me of who i am. and the serenity prayer is all the more appropriate...

New for Tuesday

So...this Tuesday, the main release is Meet The Fokkers.
The House of Flyign Daggers is also out.

Several movies will be out for the PSP, so I'm gonna have to check it out.
Seems silly to have PSP movies when you also have the DVD, but considering
you can go out an about with the PSP... hmm...tempting. And FIFA isn't out no earlier than April 27th...
a good movie can still hold me over.

Anyway, that's that gonna go sleep shortly.

Ad_nauseum

I admit, I have an ad.
As I've mentioned earlier, my sign is Free, take one.

My friend Heather and I chatted a bit yesterday and today. In the process, I revised my ad on match.com. What used to be, hmm...i wonder if I'll get any views or winks (as they call them), or whatever,...to Eh, fuck it. Let me speak my mind. So, i revised my response as far as who I am and what I am looking for.

I laughed. Heather laughed too. In a span of hours, I actually got a 10% increase in people who viewed it.
Go figure. No responses, just views. But it's me, and how I would usually say what comes to mind.

And no, the chic from work that i saw on there still hasn't responded. Ah well.
As it is, I figured, ya know... what have I got to lose? So I made a profile on another place called catholicsingles.com

Yeah, it's part of my ideal, as far as, if I could pick... it'd be nice to have someone believe in a good deal of stuff the same way as I do. But it's wishful thinking, and that wishful thinking got me to start a profile on there too.
No idea what'll come of it, and chances are, nothing will. But at least it's out there.

Anyway, it's always been a cycle of where i'm content and not really. I'm slowly going back to content and saying eh, Fuck it, slowly. Besides, maybe if I weren't single, I'd have trouble getting a new grill.

:)

Sunday Afternoon

Alone. Listless. Breakfast table in an otherwise empty room.

That's what Pearl Jam said. What does Bum say?
Awake. Tired as hell. Floor is messy and I need to go and vacuum.

Woke up just a little before noon. Finished doing some receipts, though I haven't gotten to the previous week's. Shit, I've got....fuck it, lemme look right now... I got a hella lot of receipts, and though I only got a few movies and crap as of late, I have beengoing to starbucks and the smoothie king a good deal. But oh, the coffee flavored whatchamacallit at Smoothie King is so good. And Sonic Oreo blasts are too. But I digress. If at all, 3 people owe me drinks. I just as well should take them up on it.

Watched some of the race today.... every now and then, glance and see who's leading, who's crashing, that sort of thing. I'm just glad that 24 didn't win, and that Dale Jr was in the top 10. Coulda, woulda, shoulda been in the Top 5, but hey, I'm happy with Top Ten.

I'd been staying at work getting a good deal of stuff done, and the good news is, extra work means extra pay. So, with some of it, I got a new grill for the house last week. Been busy as of late, so I put the thing together today too. Ah... it is my new baby. It's not all powerful or anything, but it's my nice stainless steel little baby, with a nice sized sideburner and able to hold 35 hamburgers. Bum likes.

What else... the garage looks clean...and I won some items off of eBay. I think a few more items, and i've got a complete set. In another post, I'll go into more detail, but I up and updated an ad. Uh huh. Exactly. Wait for the next entry.

What else...spaghetti dinner, garlic bread, and brownies, topped off with Bud Light. All is good.

Other than that,...that's been this nice and quiet weekend. I've been having an urge to watch Pirates of the Caribbean again, so I just may have to do that this week.

Waiting for Nothing

As much as I try to leave work early at times, I just never seem to be able to do so.
Thursday, I just wanted to leave early and go to the pub, have a couple of cold ones, and call it a night. So... Thursday, I said fuck it, and left around 545-ish. I picked up a pack and was heading over to the pub when i thought, hey, I'm near something work-related...so I stop by, and end up staying there an hour and a half for work instead of heading to the pub.

Hrm. Friday, same thing. Got in early, etc etc, and was gonna stay just enough to get work done, but ended up staying a lil bit longer...until 7pm-ish. Too late to catch the hockey game, too lazy to head downtown,...so I visited a friend at her workplace. After chatting for a good while, we figured we needed to hang out, and soon.

Tomorrow. Which by this posting, is today...well... Saturday. Dinner and a movie... putt-putt....something, we didn't know. but just... something. After 6 pm that is.

So it's Saturday...
530p, finishing up sorting out and cleaning in the garage.
6p, sent a text message saying, hey, what's the plan
7p, got a msg saying hi, on errands with so-and-so.
850p, still at home, pretty much considered it a loss for the eve.

So yeah, not really stood up, but... what else can ya call it.
ah well. it's all good.

No competition

"I'm in love"
"With who NOW?"

I usually say the first line, somewhat jokingly, and meaning it more to be like, this person is attractive...and without fail, I get the second statement in response.

It's not that I fall in love or lust or schwing! left and right, it's just that God decided to put cute women on this earth, and I'm just being appreciative. Now, I may have been posting about being smitten, but I'm a fickle mofo. Come monday, I'll still think someone is really cute and smart, but, upon further review, I think I'll sit this one out yet again coach.

All I've got for me is an occasional charm (not always, but sometimes), and when ya put that against a professional contract for sports, better build, and whatever else... yeah... and no, I won't post the name, cuz Lord knows, people do searches for stuff, and they get pointed to this page, i.e. The Incredibles - Jackelope.

So yeah. Upon recommendation from someone whose word I do put weight on, common sense, and just...whatever ya call it, I'm gonna sit this one out cuz there's no competition.

Well behaved

I don't know what adjectives my coworkers would use to describe me at work.
I'm serious, dedicated, anal retentive, happy-go-lucky, schmoozer, etc etc...
but the last one (from this week) I haven't heard much (if ever at all) in more than 4 and a half years is...

well-behaved

I guess since by most definitions, I rarely am... unless it's a meeting or whatever.
And what's funnier...I guess, is that the person who said they'd never seen me so "well-behaved" before,...said it to one of the managerial types. Argh. heh. Ah well.

But yes... with all the stuff I am known for, all the pranks and jokes I would pull... being tagged well-behaved at any time is a rarity.

Reasons

So it's 1am, and i'm actually gonna sleep earlier than 1:30 tonight.
Damnit.

So yeah, I'm thinking right now.
Scary idea...me thinking.

Anyway...
it's always been said that waking up is the hardest thing to do.
it's pretty true, especially when you're having a really nice dream,
and what-not, and so you do wake up.

but
do you wake up because you know what you have to do for that day?
do you wake up because you have some unfinished business from the previous day?
do you wake up because you have nothing else better to do?

lots of reasons. I guess I wake up just to see what today's episode is.
will it be a sitcom of a day, full of EPO....
will it be a tragedy of a day, and ya just want to go to some happy place
will it be a feel-good movie where everything's ok in the end?
will the guy get the girl?
will the day have a happy ending?

i don't know. i guess my waking up is another way of me asking,
am i there yet?

right now, i wake up just to find a smile.
the kind where at the end of the day, even if it's not been balanced, but somehow,
when you add it all up, you still wind up being content.

a nice smile. a nice, pretty smile.
reason enough to wake up.

What's Your Sign?

"Free, Take One"

content

there's always a happy medium.

ya never hear about the happy small, or the happy large,
but the happy medium... oh yeah.

it's like, not fucked up, or all that... but the hapy medium.
it's not being bad off, or well to do, but the happy medium.
it's not living without purpose or ...being happy...
it's just being...content.

could be better, could be worse.
always seems that way.
you're optimistic and hopeful, but have to be realistic.

the happy medium.
trying to be content.

this is life.
and for briefs periods everyday, there is such a thing as content.

a yawn

aha!
finally, a yawn.
i can up and go get to sleep.

muhahahaha!
man, 2 more days til the weekend.
what to do, what to do.

random conversations at work

You know, more often than not, a friend of mine from work and i have the most random conversations, and ya might think, WTF, but really, in a weird demented sense, it's sometimes funny. So, in lieu of EPO for the time being... here's a random conversation

"So, you know, i wonder what if i had just become a priest and not have to worry about girls?"
"well, you wouldn't be gettin' any lovin'"
"yeah, but i s'ppose i'd be ok with that if i were a priest"
"uh huh"
"I mean, shoot... not saying i kick ass an' all, but i could even be elected Pope, unlike the President of the US"
"True"
"you don't have to be american to be a Pope, even. but i am though"
"yeah, you can't be a superpower they said"
"So Superman can't be Pope"

[pause]
[same time] - "But Batman can be"

old classmates and women

my coworker friend Brian said it best when he said,
Bum's weakness is helping other people and cute women.

i can't deny that statement. it's hard to say no, and i's even harder to say no when it's to a cute girl. some sort of spell comes over me i guess. i just wish i had that sort of luck.

so old classmates... Teri's doing ok. she still has the same spark in her eyes and if i remember right, her eyes light up when she smiles. i still owe her ice cream, so i'll have to do that someday.

and Eleanor... she's graduating next Friday, so I'm real happy for her. She ran into my Mom today and they chatted, and i'm so glad to know she's finishing. she's a real smart chica, and somehow, at a party many many years ago, my grandma and her grandpa chatted and somehow, were like 5th or 6th cousins. Huh. Go figure. Never did bother to find out if it was true or not, but grew up just saying we were for the hell of it. Now they were talking in front of this doctor... now the funny thing is, a while back, every relative was saying frickin wait til i'm older to find someone. and i was like, whatever. but now, they're actually trying to help out.
Mom talked to the doctor, who's my age, and yadda yadda. i was like, what in the world did you ask that doctor for? the blah thing is, she did seem a lil bit interested on how i was described....until she found out i was an engineer. but the way Mom told it, she didn't say it was her son, but just someone she knew. oh good grief, it's like in one of those greek mother movies or italian or whatever. anyways, it was all ok til she found out 'i' was an engineer. we're supposedly anal and just...blah. eh, can't say always blah, i mean, how many muthfuckin engineers wear disco platform shoes, mallrat, and whatever else. ok, so we're eccentric... but still. so anyways, yeah, Ellie, Ma, and that doctor chic were there, and she was just like... hmmm..

i think it's scary when i almost always jokingly say 'i'm in love', i get "which one is she now?" as if she's a different flavor every week. hmm. ok, so yeah, i'm sluttin' when it comes to thinking girls are cute. but right now, i think i'm smitten again. or at least getting there. and that's all i'll say about that.

in som nia

i can't sleep
my mind's all awake

it's weird cuz i know the subliminal's busy thinking and scheming, but everything else wants to shut down but just can't.

the EPO at work has been fairly down to a minimum this week...so far... and today was hump day. i can't wait for friday, but i have no plans.

i'll eventually force myself to sleep in a little bit, but ah well.

the online pageant as of late

as of late, the online pageant as i call it has been ok, but pretty much, one sticks out.
she's cute and seems cool, and somehow works at the same place, just not in this group or whatever.

no responses or anything yet. Doubt i will, but thought i'd try
:)

Jedi Training

Went to Target tonight after work.
Mainly just to look around, see if any PSP games were on sale, etc etc.
While I was there, went by the toy section at the StarWars display...
granted, unless it's usually an XBOX game, i wouldn't really care to plug anything in the tv and play as a video game.

Tonight, I made an exception. This time around, they've decided to make a Star Wars game where you wield a hand-held light saber of sorts, and well,... have lightsaber fights as part of the game. couldn't resist the idea, so i pikced one up tonight, and tried it out.

Way cool for every star wars lover. it's not too bad.

just a thought

"Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight"

Birth Month

So I got this email today about birth months... I dunno...mine's pretty close. what about yours?

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious Loves to teach and be
taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Affectionate, Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory........ Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up Easily bored ed. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself . Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center . Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom, Thinks forward. Unique And brilliant, extraordinary ideas, sharp thinking, Fine and strong Clairvoyance, can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality, Secretive, Inquisitive, Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking, less talkative but Amiable, Brave and generous, Patient, Stubborn and hard-hearted, If there is A will, there is a way. Determined, never gives up. Hardly becomes angry, unless provoked. Loves to be alone, Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded, Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises, High-spirited........ Well-built and tough Deep love and emotions, Romantic, Uncertain in relationships, Homely, Hardworking, High abilities, Trustworthy, Honest and keeps secrets, not able to control emotions, Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy, Strong lover. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Loves to love. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions.

Today in a handbasket

hmm...
-had a presentation today... it was decent. Pretty much got out of it what we wanted...and in an instance, something we didn't want, but hey... you win some, you lose some.

-Didn't -really- have a lot of EPO/APO moments, but there were still some. it's almost not a complete day without it, but imagine if you went through a good while with no one for just entertainment of annoyance purposes only...

i'm still a lil bit giddy, but i reckon i gotta be good.
as of right now, i'm feeling the effects of a headache...
it's either lack of sleep or withdrawal...hrm.

as it is, i'm gonna go sleep soon. again.

oh yeah. got a haircut. all spiky again. missed it, yes indeedy.
yesterday, got Elektra on DVD, as well as a steering wheel for the XBOX.
Tried it out tonight...it was ok. glad i don't REALLY drive like that.

And that's...pretty much it in a nutcase.

Salsa at a country bar

KC: though bit of advice, don't try to salsa to country music - it don't work. but then the nappy dude that was hitting on kerry and me didn't hvae a chance, did she tell you about that?

Bum: nope
Bum: Kerry only sends me cheerleading messages then logs off

KC: we went to midnight rodeo for about an hour, and of course get hit on by (cheerleading messages?) these two guys

Bum: "bum bum, he's our man, if he can't do it no one can, except Zoey"

KC: lets just say, the one guy who was quiet, well half his face had this thing on it and i think it was moving, the other guy though,
KC: nice

Bum: ah...those two [omission] guys...at midnight rodeo...heh... sounds like a start of a good joke.
Bum: hmm...scary

KC: well, he was just nappy to the max! he tried to convice kerry and I that there's no country music in new jersey at all

Bum: *eyebrow* and if he said that NH didn't have it, i'd laugh

KC: and kerry of course, having to take the brunt of his 'talking' of course stuck him on me when he asked her to dance
KC: but he shares that he owned a salsa dance studio, but doesn't know how to two step
KC: so he decides to salsa to country music.

Bum: so...he salsas to country music?

KC: it didn't work!
KC: yeah

Bum: country music ain't fast enough for that there mumbo jumbo
Bum: ah reckon

KC: and then he started this funky ass doing laps around me and i just walked off the dance floor - he was a FREAK! and the bad thing was, the whole time i was trying to give guys walking by the 'help us' looik

Bum: *LOL*

KC: and the look didn't snag a single other guy, we finally bailed for the bathroom
KC: then around the bar
KC: then out the main door

Bum: ah, you have been pepe le pew'ed

KC: ugh
KC: it was worse

Bum: mi cheria
Bum: ay yi yi

KC: joy oh joy
KC: oh no, please tell me your not bloggin this? cause i acutally have a better story

Part II tomorrow, or whenever she shares it. Hmm. Salsa and Country Music...

The word for today is:

Giddy.

The trouble with acronyms and typos

NASAspeak.
The world knows it by another name: acronyms.

You know, we at work go through a whole day having said at LEAST one sentence that had one or more acronyms. It's basically second nature to you after awhile that you have to sometimes wonder... man, did we just acronym an entire thought?

Well, the trouble with acronyms...and typos is that, for one thing, some acronyms are the same, but they stand for something altogether different if you're in another group. Another thing is, you get used to the mindset that everyone knows what you're talking about that you sometimes think your acronym stands for the same thing with others who might share the same combination of letters...but end up having a different definition. That or just assuming everyone knows acronym-glish. heh.

Yep, so I had to, and still have to, remind myself the new guy doesn't get acronyms much yet, so I have to say the acronym, pause, and define what it means in the previous context. Pretty neat.

But where do acronyms and typos not mix? Well, for mainly the sole current purpose that the letters "w" and "r" are very close to each other on the keyboard. Although I might mean to say "RTF" for return to flight, i might accidentally type "WTF", which means What the Fuck... aww man, imagine the trouble that would cause.

Heh. So yeah, like... moral of the story... watch out for typos in acronym-glish.

Take THAT, Peanut Queen!...AND Pink Tiger!

so yeah, like.... ok...
um... a couple of weeks ago, Stacy pretty much said kinda sorta that I need to post s'more. And Pink Tiger said I'd been fairly bitter in my recent entries. Hrm. Well...ok. So... I've put a few entries in. Ok, so that covers Stacy. As for dearling Pink Tiger, I can't promise a non-bitter or whatever entry, but I've added some flavor to the entries that some are blah, some are hah, and some are wha? :)

So...take that! :)

And yet another

Since we've got the mental jukebox on, one of my favorite Beatles' songs is:

In My Life.
(Lennon/McCartney)

There are places I remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

I guess i'm in one of those retrointrospective moods, and this song is fitting.

Getting By

No idea.
This song just started playing in my mental jukebox. Eh. Good song.

What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
and I'll try not to sing out of key

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away
Does it worry you to be alone
How do you feel by the end of the day
Are you sad because you're on your own

No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm,Gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love

Would you believe in a love at first sight
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, Gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I just need someone to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends

Marriage

I hate the concept of marriage, as a single guy, because frankly, it takes away all the cute, single women.

Heh.

Fukitol Script

Last week was fairly decent.
First week being an unofficial lead of a group.
I'm slowly learning the wonderful art of delegating work to others...

Fukitol wasn't really needed, but this is a new week, and though I doubt I'll need a dose,
it wouldn't hurt to have some handy just in case an A.P.O. episode might come up...and trust me, it's not necessarily unlikely.

Eh.... for all practical purposes, even if EPObecomes an APO, fukitol.
and bring it on.

Finger Crossing

My dearest friend KC and her other half, Col, are one step closer to moving down closer.
I've got my fingers crossed. That'd be cool.

Sleep catches up

My sleep cycle's been off since I'd been watching the news a lot lately.
Getting sleepier earlier than when I normally get sleepy.

I guess that's a good thing, but hrm... as much as I need to catch up on sleep, sleep is catching up on me.

Vicarious

what happens when you get so used to something one way, and you fear it will never change, but should it ever change, wonder if you'd do a decent enough job adapting...

Hung said it best. Actually, he's the only one to say it.
I'd take a given scenario and go through every possible outcome in my head,
and consider the likelihood of each outcome, and sometimes make the decision based on that.

But this is dwelling.

so i will just live vicariously.

The bookstore

There's not much new in life right now other than work. In some cases, I guess it's sad cuz it's what I use for therapy or rather a way to just pass the time. I don't have much of anywhere to go afterwards, so aside from having stuff to do at work, I just as well stay late and get some stuff done. I haven't been a mallrat in a few years. Well, I guess a year since B. Dalton closed. Hannah worked there, and I'd come over, say hi, and see which book she'd recommend. She's probably the main reason why I've started reading books here and there again. Stupid story, but I've got time anyways...

I'd always gone to the mall just to walk around, check out the toy store, the CD stores, or whatever else... eat ice cream, watch people, and sit outside of Express. Express is right next to bath and Body works and the cute girls went there so I'd do my people watching there. The life of a teenaged mallrat. Some years had passed, and I'd still sometimes do that. But...

December 1999, we went to Disney world and actually celebrated the New Year's Eve in Orlando. At the Star Wars place, they had this book and action figure of C-3PO, but they were charging like 100+ for it. Anyway, maybe a couple of weeks after the trip, I went to the mall again, and it was late in the afternoon/early evening, I walked into B. Dalton and they had the same C-3PO book. So I went in, and was checking out the price and all when this cute girl asks if I needed some help. Hannah. She's real pretty. Had that girl next door quiet way about her.

So, we chatted a bit about Star Wars. She actually knew a good deal, and we'd chat s'more, and I evenutally got it. Wow... just thinking, it's been a lil over 5 yrs now. So yeah, I'd stop by and say Hi to Hannah, and we'd talk about whatever, from movies and work to books. She was in school to be a librarian, anyway. She'd recommend books she'd read, and I'd just as happily buy them and read. There was a time when her coworker recommended Terry Pratchett, and she recommended Terry Goodkind. I automatically said no to Terry Goodkind cuz another friend recommended it and I was just like... eh. no. But this is Hannah. I gave in and got Wizard's First Rule. Liked it enough that I got several more books to read. She also got me reading stuff by David Sedaris, who has a different but funny style. We'd compare stories about going to the nearby locale, listening to the live music and drinking a bottle of beer, or walking the boardwalk.

A funny thing is, I'd also used to check which Star Wars graphic novels had come out, and if they didn't have them, she'd go ahead and place them on order for me. I think we were on just first-name basis, cause I never knew her last name. The weird thing is, one time, they didn't have this book I wanted, so she asked if I wanted to get it ordered, and I said sure. So, we went to the front desk so she could place the order, and I'm like...
Hannah, don't you need my last name, phone number, or something? and she was like, No, it's ok, I've got it.
Hmm. Regular customer, I guess, but I just didn't expect her to just...know.

Last I heard, she'd moved to another state, and I think she's married now. Ah well. She got me reading again.

Some Girl

Last week, I went to Half Price Books after work... I think it was like 830 or so PM, and I normally look at the dvds they have there. Sometimes, they have something new and cool. Sometimes, eh, I end up going and looking at the other areas of the store too cuz no new movies. This time around, they had a movie called Some Girl. It stars Juliette Lewis, Michael Rapaport, Gionanni Ribisi, and his twin sister, Marissa Ribisi.

The overall was good, though the plot was... eh. It could have happened. On a side note, Juliette Lewis (not her character in the movie) reminds me of a girl I once had a crush on.

Anyway, as the back of the dvd cover says, it's about Claire (Marissa Ribisi), a dark brooding poet, (who) is desprate to find 'unconditional love' the ticket out of her life's strife. After her hundredth heartbreak, her life takes an unexpected turn when she meets Chad (Jeremy Sisto). Could this quirky, disheveled aspiring actor be the one? April (Juliette Lewis), Claire's promiscuous best friend, does everything possible to avoid committing to Paul (Michael Rapaport), who is not only madly in love with her, but is close to being the most perfect man. Jason (Giovanni Ribisi), who due to his small, awkward appearance, must constantly deal with being the girls' "best friend" and is considered a joke by the aloof and jaded Jenn. maybe being twenty-something, attractive and single in L.A. isn't all it's cracked up to be.

It was a decent movie.

The Chairs - But not like George Strait style

George Strait has this song called The Chair.
It's actually one of my favorite George Strait songs out there, out of the many favorites, of course. Anyway, several weekends ago, I went to the Wal-Mart and while getting some stuff, I looked up at the Budweiser display and saw these chairs and thought... way cool...It's got #8 on it, and it's Budweiser racing.

So, at the checkout, I asked one of the CSMs if they sold them or if I could just buy those, and she referred me to another CSM...well, actually, they took my name and number down. A few days later, they called me up and said they were gonna ask the vendor if it was cool, and that they'd get back with me shortly. Well, after a while, they called again and said to come on over. So I asked, how much did I owe, and their response was,
free. I'm like...WHOA! so... here are my chairs.

They've of course got the Budweiser Racing logo on the back, #8 on the front, a cupholder for each arm, and on one side, has a remote control/cellphone holder. It also has a removable drink cooler that can hang from the front and holds about 3 to 4 drinks, which is just awesome.

Yep, a his and hers Dale Jr/Budweiser chair set. Her not included.
No assembly required.

I love Wal-Mart.

South Park TexAsian

There was this rap artist from Houston called South Park Mexican.
Well, there's a website that let you pick out your own South Park character,...

and this one was mine...

With matching accessories...

and matching headset from the MER.

heh.

Pope John Paul II

Pope Ioannes Paulus II
18 May, 1920 - 2 April 2005

What more can you say about Karol Josef Wojtyla that they haven't covered on the news? This man who was born in Poland, suffered some tragedies in early childhood, and would later enter priesthood. That path would lead him to become the Holy See, adopting the name John Paul II.

He became the 264th pope on October 16, 1978, replacing John Paul I. It would be six days later that he was installed as pope in St. Peter's Square, October 22, 1978. I turned two yrs old that day. I was raised Catholic, having gone to Catholic school until the 6th grade where I went to public school. But ever since I was 6 years old, I was an altar server. I've served for two bishops, a few auxiliary bishops, several monsignors, and numerous priests. I've also trained many altar servers, taught Sunday school, and sang in the choir every now and again. I felt a certain closeness to the Pope, especially after 1999 when we went to Fatima and Lourdes. At Fatima, they let me serve for the three priests along with the group where they usually just allowed priests to walk. I can't explain that feeling because it felt like you were walking on air, like ...no effort in moving. And I thought to myself, in my faith, the Virgin Mary was just right there many years ago, and also, Pope John Paul II knelt there too.

He could be seen as a father figure. I saw him as a sort of grandfather who could never do any harm to anyone. He just had that aura about him. I sometimes disagreed with some doctrine, but that's the fine line that splits faith from religion, and he being the head of the religion. But still, being far away, I would watch on tv as he travelled to the may countries he touched. And more recently, as we all have seen him in his frail years, it's as if he was stooping because he himself was carrying his own invisible cross.

I stayed up this weekend, watching the tv. Just had it fixated on the news, waiting for word on his condition. He's one of those folks where I just think they would always be there. So when they said that he had finally passed away, it took a little bit before the full impact that he wasn't here anymore physically hit.

Last Sunday, March 27, Mom and Grandma arrived in Rome, and at St. Peter's square just in time as he was blessing everyone. Though he looked like this tiny face, they could see him. Mom said that he looked pretty good, although we all knew he was sick. That would pretty much be the last blessing this Pope gave.

Hearing the bells toll for him just reminds me that he's no longer here, so I turn the tv off. But even though it saddens me, as well as millions of other people, we know he's in a better place now, and not suffering. It's only in that belief that brings some joy. I will miss him.

Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum.
Adveniat regnum tuum.
Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra.
Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,
et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.
Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo.
Amen.

Ave Maria, gratia plena.
Dominum tecum.
Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesu.

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei,
ora pro nobis pecatoribus,
nunc et in hora mortis nostrae.
Amen.