Stupid Stuff

But it's an ongoing struggle between being realistic and optimistic.
On one hand, I've got those who have known me anywhere between a year and others...almost a lifetime... who'll say I'm a decent person, a good friend, and a number of adjectives that would imply that I am a good person. On the other hand, there's the voice in my head that wonders just how true what they say is.

As a book title says, If I'm so wonderful, why am I still single? No idea. But after awhile, I'm starting to lose touch with the optimism that would still give me a smile regardless, and I have to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? Am I really that strange or weird or eccentric or just, what are the things I'm lacking? I could probably name a few, but those are the things I can't really change. Sometimes, one's best is still not good enough. And sometimes, all one just wants is that hand that holds yours saying everything's going to be ok, and that you are good enough, even without saying the words.

But what the fuck do I know? It's just one of those nights.