Change
It had been some time since I had adopted a lighthouse as a backdrop for here. I'd say it was around 2004, espcially after taking a liking to Vienna Teng. Yes, I still love her and her music dearly, and mainly picked the background for Harbor.
It's time for a change... leave that harbor and see what's out there, even if the only light is from the moon.
Like I mentioned earlier, I was reading Rachael Yamagata's blog in her myspace, and she wrote the following:
Don’t smoke. It’s so incredibly bad for you. I’m driving along and driving everyone nuts because I can’t stop coughing. Of course, I picked up smoking to lose weight and have some sort of crutch to rely on during stressful times (every day) and now it’s messing with my voice which makes me more stressed and who cares if I lose weight cause now I have a new bad habit.
...
I do wish I could do things in their proper order and with the right timing, but I seem to reverse everything. Symbolic dates and holidays never resonate with me, I work more when everyone else has the day off and can’t seem to get anything done when all is productive around me. I’m hung up on fair play and the telling of the full story and when that fails it is like little crushing blows…
What the hell are we doing to each other I wonder? Have you seen that movie?…. what is it called…Sara Polley, is that her name? I think she is in it. I forget the title… She finds out she is dying and so she makes this list of things to do before she goes. She decides to not tell her family that she is sick. Anyway, this list… things like ‘Always say what she is thinking’, and ‘Make a stranger fall in love with her’ etc. etc. She makes tapes for her daughters future birthdays full of the mother’s advice that they shouldn’t miss out on. It’s the most beautiful movie and she lives the last days without all the crap of human existence. And I guess I wish that for everyone and myself. To not ever be ruled by guilt or fear or regret. To just tell it like it is the very best way we can. And to forgive everything.
Some days are more difficult than others. Some days you try to do that and feel like you are just throwing up all over the world, foolishly uncensored, on some quest to understand and be understood. And it all feels like high school once again.
I think loneliness may be the most evil feeling of all.
I wish I’d taken philosophy in school. I may have learned something.
Anyway, that is my jibberish for this blog. Repair someone today. Even if it is just yourself.
So true. So true. After last week, I'm in need of repairing myself. Slowly getting there. Trying to live without guilt or fear or regret. Leaving loneliness behind in the rear-view mirror but not closer than it appears. On the road to being free. If I go too fast, let me know, and I'll not go so fast. But all the same, it's time for change, one step at a time and i'm slowly getting there one step at a time.
It's time for a change... leave that harbor and see what's out there, even if the only light is from the moon.
Like I mentioned earlier, I was reading Rachael Yamagata's blog in her myspace, and she wrote the following:
Don’t smoke. It’s so incredibly bad for you. I’m driving along and driving everyone nuts because I can’t stop coughing. Of course, I picked up smoking to lose weight and have some sort of crutch to rely on during stressful times (every day) and now it’s messing with my voice which makes me more stressed and who cares if I lose weight cause now I have a new bad habit.
...
I do wish I could do things in their proper order and with the right timing, but I seem to reverse everything. Symbolic dates and holidays never resonate with me, I work more when everyone else has the day off and can’t seem to get anything done when all is productive around me. I’m hung up on fair play and the telling of the full story and when that fails it is like little crushing blows…
What the hell are we doing to each other I wonder? Have you seen that movie?…. what is it called…Sara Polley, is that her name? I think she is in it. I forget the title… She finds out she is dying and so she makes this list of things to do before she goes. She decides to not tell her family that she is sick. Anyway, this list… things like ‘Always say what she is thinking’, and ‘Make a stranger fall in love with her’ etc. etc. She makes tapes for her daughters future birthdays full of the mother’s advice that they shouldn’t miss out on. It’s the most beautiful movie and she lives the last days without all the crap of human existence. And I guess I wish that for everyone and myself. To not ever be ruled by guilt or fear or regret. To just tell it like it is the very best way we can. And to forgive everything.
Some days are more difficult than others. Some days you try to do that and feel like you are just throwing up all over the world, foolishly uncensored, on some quest to understand and be understood. And it all feels like high school once again.
I think loneliness may be the most evil feeling of all.
I wish I’d taken philosophy in school. I may have learned something.
Anyway, that is my jibberish for this blog. Repair someone today. Even if it is just yourself.
So true. So true. After last week, I'm in need of repairing myself. Slowly getting there. Trying to live without guilt or fear or regret. Leaving loneliness behind in the rear-view mirror but not closer than it appears. On the road to being free. If I go too fast, let me know, and I'll not go so fast. But all the same, it's time for change, one step at a time and i'm slowly getting there one step at a time.
posted by Bum at 01:54
1 Comments:
i heart rachael yamagata. she's hot.
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