familiar places
last year, around this time, we waited to find out who won the new contract. last year, around this time, we found out. last year, around this time, we wondered about our jobs. last year, around this time, we didn't know.
this year, right now, they mentioned reduction in force. RIF, if you will. always fun. change the F to P, and that could also describe your job. But, i guess, the humor in it, if you can call it that, is how it occurred.
Money / 0933
In the morning, an email goes out saying that we should give more money to the United Way. Ok, fair enough. A little over 18k was raised. great! out of 42 contributors... average of $432 per person. but 42 is about...oh...4% of the total population. so... upper management was 'asked' to give more. And, sure enough, some did. alil over half of them put together a lil over 12K of the 18k total raised. That's a good $800 per person average, so that means the as a whole, only 2% actually did anything. So, on average, those folks gave about $800 or so per person? Hmm. Upper management has that much to just give out? That's applaudable. That's a shitload of collectibles, or food on the table, or whatever you choose to do with $800. Me? That's a good part of my own paycheck. I've got relatives that could use that money for their families. That's -my- "United Way". besides, i'm not upper management.
Jobs / 4 hrs later
By the way...while we're asking you to give a bit more, we also want to let you know we don't have as much money, so we're gonna probably have to reduce the workforce. We don't know by how much... but uh... it's gonna hurt. Not exact words, but it'd be nice to be a wallfly, right? They said it'll prolly be just one swipe... one shot, one kill, instead of the slow and agonizing who's next? I doubted that... you'd have to do it slowly, group by group. But first,...ask for volunteers... sure enough, they sent out a notice today asking if anyone wanted to volunteer to quit and just take nice parting gifts. well, i guess with the risk of reduction in force... can't exactly give to the United Way, huh?
Blood / relentless
So... the next day, yes, a new day... another mass mailer goes out. Blood drive. across the street. No thanks. I'd rather sell my plasma instead for money, just in case.
Point being, first they wanted our money, then they wanted our jobs, and now they're asking for our blood. I think tomorrow, they'll want our souls. Slight attempt at humor, but, then again, it's near the holiday season. my joke isn't funny, and unfortunately, neither is theirs.
last year, we damn well had a nice happy hour one day...
this year, right now, they mentioned reduction in force. RIF, if you will. always fun. change the F to P, and that could also describe your job. But, i guess, the humor in it, if you can call it that, is how it occurred.
Money / 0933
In the morning, an email goes out saying that we should give more money to the United Way. Ok, fair enough. A little over 18k was raised. great! out of 42 contributors... average of $432 per person. but 42 is about...oh...4% of the total population. so... upper management was 'asked' to give more. And, sure enough, some did. alil over half of them put together a lil over 12K of the 18k total raised. That's a good $800 per person average, so that means the as a whole, only 2% actually did anything. So, on average, those folks gave about $800 or so per person? Hmm. Upper management has that much to just give out? That's applaudable. That's a shitload of collectibles, or food on the table, or whatever you choose to do with $800. Me? That's a good part of my own paycheck. I've got relatives that could use that money for their families. That's -my- "United Way". besides, i'm not upper management.
Jobs / 4 hrs later
By the way...while we're asking you to give a bit more, we also want to let you know we don't have as much money, so we're gonna probably have to reduce the workforce. We don't know by how much... but uh... it's gonna hurt. Not exact words, but it'd be nice to be a wallfly, right? They said it'll prolly be just one swipe... one shot, one kill, instead of the slow and agonizing who's next? I doubted that... you'd have to do it slowly, group by group. But first,...ask for volunteers... sure enough, they sent out a notice today asking if anyone wanted to volunteer to quit and just take nice parting gifts. well, i guess with the risk of reduction in force... can't exactly give to the United Way, huh?
Blood / relentless
So... the next day, yes, a new day... another mass mailer goes out. Blood drive. across the street. No thanks. I'd rather sell my plasma instead for money, just in case.
Point being, first they wanted our money, then they wanted our jobs, and now they're asking for our blood. I think tomorrow, they'll want our souls. Slight attempt at humor, but, then again, it's near the holiday season. my joke isn't funny, and unfortunately, neither is theirs.
last year, we damn well had a nice happy hour one day...
posted by Bum at 00:35
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home