Pimp Slap Amen

You know... when you're up late and turn on the TV, chances are, when you channel surf, you'll see a hella lot of televangelists who'll love you...and tell you that Jesus will love you even more if you send them money.

Then after they finish talking, some of them show themselves in a congregational setting, and have people line up, saying "The Power of Jeeeeee-zus com-PELssssss you!", and then they push hard on those people's foreheads and they fall backwards to be caught by attendants.

Hmm. well, when your eyes are closed and someone pushes the shit out of your forehead, you WILL fall backwards.

I can never be a televangelist. For one, after several minutes of copying the stereotype, i'd have to keep myself from laughing too hard. And there'd be no pushing of the foreheads.

No. None of that.

We'd have Holy Pimpslaps, Can I get a hallelujah muth'f'ka!?!?
Yes. The power upon HIGH compels you to SIN *PIMPSLAP* NO *PIMPSLAP* MO'!

*raise both hands and microphone up high in triumph*
*do a running in place dance*
*listen to the congregation ....do their applauding and whatever else*
*let the choir and organist do a 10 second response*
*start to pimpslap the next person*

well, shit. that's why Rick James and Ike Turner never would be good televangelists.
"What I done told you, bish? I told yo' ass to sin no mo'! Why the haaaaa'yell you up and back on over herre?" *PIMPSLAP* The power upon HIGH compels YOU to SIN *pimpslap* No *pimpslap* mo!