Cartoons and Smurfs Gone Wild
When I was growing up, I never questioned the realism of cartoons.
I never really wondered why the hell on G.I. Joe, they can fire so many weapons to where all you see are blue and red lasers going here and there... and not ONE person got killed.
Injured? maybe a few times to warrant some bandages, but you never heard about a Joe not coming back for another episode.
He-Man? he was gay. next?
Thundercats? Never saw anything really sexual about it. But looking back?
Panthro. Seemed like the bruthaman of the group, had the all out blinging spiky outfit, had awesome nunchuk skills (a plus that girlfriends look for), and well, anyways...Panthro... looked like the S&M whips and chains gear. He also drove the thundertank. Pimp my ride? I think not. the thundertank was tanked out pimped out rollin' on 20s.
Tygra? he wielded a mean whip. he also built the Cat's lair. uh huh. bachelor pad.
The leotard was kinda lame though.
Cheetarah? Awwww yeah. She put the kitty in kat. and of all the cats, who got to wield the stick? yeah, a balance... animator's way to reduce the amount of penis envy. *shrug* hellified know.
Snarf? Lion'O prison bish. nuff said.
and finally...Lion-O. He was the Dom. When Lion-O said jump, the rest of the cats said, How High mutha-SHUT YO MOUF! (but i'm talkin' 'bout Lion-O!). And his weapon of choice? The Eye of Thundera. A sword. A Phallic symbol. He whacked it three times, calling it 'thunder' as the sword got longer. Finally, he lets out a loud cry, i.e. Hooooooooooo, and the Eye of Thundera shoots out. Uh huh.
And now, on to the main feature. Smurfs.
What if Papa Smurf was really Dirty Old Smurf? Vanity had a queer smurf for the straight smurf...or was Hefty's prison bish. Smurfette? She had them all wrapped around her fingers.
The rejected smurfs?
Smurfpac
Pimpdaddy Smurf
Drugdealin' Smurf
Crackrock Smurf
Slutty Smurf
Poolboy Smurf
etc etc
"I'm here to clean out your pool Smurfette..."
"But I don't HAVE a pool, Poolboy Smurf..."
*Smurf chikka Smurf Smurf*
I never really wondered why the hell on G.I. Joe, they can fire so many weapons to where all you see are blue and red lasers going here and there... and not ONE person got killed.
Injured? maybe a few times to warrant some bandages, but you never heard about a Joe not coming back for another episode.
He-Man? he was gay. next?
Thundercats? Never saw anything really sexual about it. But looking back?
Panthro. Seemed like the bruthaman of the group, had the all out blinging spiky outfit, had awesome nunchuk skills (a plus that girlfriends look for), and well, anyways...Panthro... looked like the S&M whips and chains gear. He also drove the thundertank. Pimp my ride? I think not. the thundertank was tanked out pimped out rollin' on 20s.
Tygra? he wielded a mean whip. he also built the Cat's lair. uh huh. bachelor pad.
The leotard was kinda lame though.
Cheetarah? Awwww yeah. She put the kitty in kat. and of all the cats, who got to wield the stick? yeah, a balance... animator's way to reduce the amount of penis envy. *shrug* hellified know.
Snarf? Lion'O prison bish. nuff said.
and finally...Lion-O. He was the Dom. When Lion-O said jump, the rest of the cats said, How High mutha-SHUT YO MOUF! (but i'm talkin' 'bout Lion-O!). And his weapon of choice? The Eye of Thundera. A sword. A Phallic symbol. He whacked it three times, calling it 'thunder' as the sword got longer. Finally, he lets out a loud cry, i.e. Hooooooooooo, and the Eye of Thundera shoots out. Uh huh.
And now, on to the main feature. Smurfs.
What if Papa Smurf was really Dirty Old Smurf? Vanity had a queer smurf for the straight smurf...or was Hefty's prison bish. Smurfette? She had them all wrapped around her fingers.
The rejected smurfs?
Smurfpac
Pimpdaddy Smurf
Drugdealin' Smurf
Crackrock Smurf
Slutty Smurf
Poolboy Smurf
etc etc
"I'm here to clean out your pool Smurfette..."
"But I don't HAVE a pool, Poolboy Smurf..."
*Smurf chikka Smurf Smurf*
posted by Bum at 20:15
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